I don’t like to vent when I am in this state of mind, but it is better suited on here than other places. I am so sick and tired of being taken advantage of.  All I ever do is clean up after him, cook for him, and do him other favors… and yet he just yells at me whenever I interrupt him on his little “hacking” website. Does it matter that I have been around longer than them? Does it matter that I care more about him? No, absolutely not. I don’t know the computer things he talks about so I take the back seat, and when I say he yells..he really yells. I just don’t think he even knows the meaning of the word love. There is more in our history than can even be put into words.  I do his laundry every week, dishes, etc, and still go to work to help with the payment on his new truck… What do I get? Is it wrong of me to want just a little?  One or two days a year that he opens up, shows affection, and acts like he cares can not possibly be enough. It shouldn’t/can’t be. I deserve more.. especially when it takes him being drunk to tell me that I matter. Where do I draw the line? God please help me for I am alone, I love him with all that I am and it hurts me. Maybe age is to blame. I don’t know… Just God please, please help me. I am feeling way beyond sad.


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