Spiritual Blackout?

“I am living for a future that never gets here, with memories from a past that doesn’t matter.” That was literally my thoughts before work tonight. The depression that I have been in recently is ridiculous. I decided to pull out my Bible (it’s been way too long), to try and find a solution to this hideous and inexplicable hopelessness I have been feeling. I saw the term Spiritual Blackout in the front referring me to different bits of reading that might help. I was curious, what is a “spiritual blackout?” So I googled it. I think that is what I am experiencing. Some sort of weight I am carrying around whispering in my ear that life is meaningless, and I am insignificant. I am trying to figure out what it is that God wants me to be learning from this struggle. There has to be a lesson behind my suffering. I haven’t figured that part out yet. Maybe just that He wants me to have faith and cling to Him. Gladly! Because obviously walking this life on my own is something I cannot handle. My brain convinces me of so much that is “wrong” with my life.  I’m just going to take this day by day and try to have stronger faith that this will all be okay. He has a plan. I will trust in Him.

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